Some Jokes to Switch it up... My Favs...

I Know i'm sick... when i find these funny...and no i didnt fuckin write these.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
-Call her.

Why do women fake orgasms?
-Because they think men care.

Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

More to come.....